


Who Will Save Us Now?

by Dolevalan



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-16
Updated: 2008-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1629290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolevalan/pseuds/Dolevalan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Doctor Horrible's rise, the city undergoes a few changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Will Save Us Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to gileonnen, mousling, and kanamidori for their generous time and effort in proofreading this story.
> 
> Written for frek

 

 

 _In other news, Dr. Horrible's wave of crime continues to crash over the city unabated. The deputy mayor claims that had the menace only been taken seriously earlier, much of the current pain and suffering the Doctor has caused might have been avoided. Details at eleven._

They wanted me to go back to work. I don't know how they could expect such a thing - after all that... after I... after he hurt me. I'm Captain Hammer. That should not happen. 

"The city needs you," they said. "You can still stop him." 

"If I run into him," I said, "maybe I'll see what I can do." 

"He's ruining the economy. And more innocent people may die!" The official they'd sent, whatever his title was, tried to unrumple his rumpled tie, his hand slick with the sweat of civic responsibility. "Like your girlfriend! Your girlfriend... what's her name..." 

"He's in the League now. The Evil League of Evil can't be stopped," I pointed out, "no matter how super the hero." 

"Don't you want him to feel the pain he made you feel?" 

I stopped pacing, and raised one fist experimentally. He took a step back - the silly man couldn't see my fist was clearly aimed elsewhere. "...revenge?" 

With a little more hope he said, "Yes, if you like. Revenge on Dr. Horrible. You can show him that no one messes with Captain Hammer." 

"Yes," I mused. "That's right. No one does mess with Captain Hammer. It seems he has forgotten that." 

"So you'll help?" 

"I will find him. Does he still keep that blog?" 

He didn't, it seemed; the League apparently frowns on publicity of that sort. No matter. I would find him, wherever his next plot led. Though as Captain Hammer I'm known for my strength and incredible good looks, I'm also cunning, like... like something very cunning.

I waited for days outside the Laundromat where I'd deduced his clever secret identity. Of course, if I could remember his identity's name, it would be easier to find him. But that was beside the point - the point was, it was only a matter of time before I - 

"Hey," said a high, squeaky voice. I looked up at the kid, standing outside my bushes and licking a grape popsicle. "Are you Peyton Manning?" 

"What? No. I'm Captain Hammer." 

"Why are you dressed up like a football player?" 

I scowled. "I'm not dressed up. This is my new costume." I indicated the hammer I'd had added to the helmet. 

The child was not satisfied, and did not go away. "Why are you hiding, then?" 

"I'm not hiding! I'm on a stakeout." By now, people were beginning to stare at us. A pretty woman hurried over. I gave her a charming smile. "Good afternoon, ma'am, would you like an autograph? Or maybe my autograph on the check, where I've just bought you lunch?" 

She laughed awkwardly and said, "Come on, Charlie, leave the nice retired superhero alone now." She seized the boy's hand and started dragging him away. 

"Oh, ma'am, I'm not - " 

Charlie called back, "You should read the papers, Captain Hammer!" as his mother carried him off. 

The paper, hm? Well, reading wasn't my usual mode of operations, but everyone needs to branch out, now and then. Variety spice blah blah blah. I'd forgotten, though, that reading is hard work. It took me most of the morning. 

Turns out that Dr. Horrible was planning to poison the water main if the city didn't hand over 5 million dollars by Sunday. Who knew? But! Now I had a location. He'd said, in his letter, that no amount of protection would be enough to keep him from the waterworks. But he didn't count on the return of my hammer. Here meaning my fist. 

The mayor let me set up at the front door of the water processing plant, after taking a long moment to admire my new costume. I had to admit, for all I wanted to avoid pain at all costs... it felt pretty good to be back. I remembered why I loved my city, and her blind but well-merited devotion to me. I'd let her down. Given up too easily before. But now I was back, like a faithful, well-dressed husband, home and ready for his nightly meatloaf. The meatloaf of fighting evil. 

I was talking with one of the regular guards about the best way to get cats out of trees when he arrived. Dr. Horrible had certainly moved up in the world. His car was shiny and black, and he'd gotten a new outfit as well. My costume was suddenly damp, but not with sweat. Or any other bodily fluids, that I knew of. The good doctor had just gotten himself a sidekick, it seemed. Well. It changed nothing. He was still that skinny little loser whose jaw I'd smashed. Repeatedly.

He looked surprised. "Captain... Hammer." Then he looked angry. "You've a lot of nerve, showing your face again." 

"Doctor Horrible. I'm sure you'd hoped your reign of terror would continue unhindered by the force of law and her mighty, mannish fist. Which is mine." 

He scowled at me for a moment. "Did you even come to her funeral?" 

I frowned but stepped forward. "I will not be swayed by your attempts to confuse and dampen me." His sidekick began to speak, but I continued. "I will stop your plan, and once more return to my rightful place as the city's savior." 

"Penny!" he snapped. "Penny's funeral. You weren't even there." 

His sidekick and the guards looked uncomfortable. 

"I will not engage in petty banter with you. Go home, or face the might of goodness." 

"This is just sad." He pulled a large ray gun of some kind from the car behind him. I took a step back. "Do we even need to continue this charade?" 

"Noo...o." I stepped back forward. "No, I will oppose you until the end." 

He rolled his eyes. He rolled his eyes at me, the little creep. "Right. Moist, go around the back and take care of it while I deal with Captain Hammer." He muttered something like "Corporate tool," and took aim. 

I moved forward to knock the gun away; no matter what had changed, I was still stronger than the little jerk. I could see a bit of a frown gathering on his evil face, and laughed to myself. Surely I had never hesitated to beat up this freak before, and there was no reason to hesitate now. He was pulling a small lever, back and forth, but nothing was happening. 

What I hadn't counted on was that my pads were not the only things that were all wet. I hit a slick spot and, before I knew it, I'd gone flying. At that moment, Dr. Horrible unjammed his gun, and I was suspended, mid-trip, above the sidewalk. 

"I guess the freeze ray wasn't a total loss after all," he commented to himself, and moved to stroll past me, the twerp. 

As you can see, I also sprained my ankle, when I fell back to the ground. If I hadn't had my hammer helmet, who knows what would have happened? And that, your honor, is why I'm staying retired. 

\-- 

We had a lot of hopefuls, after Captain Hammer. A new League-level supervillain in a town with no superhero is just a void waiting to be filled. The Doc never much took an interest, though. Oh, he kept up with his inventions alright. Didn't want to lose his position in the League. But I never saw him get excited the way he'd used to. 

I said to him, I said, "Why don't we get a transfer? You can take over the world from anywhere." But he just shrugged. He'd been that way for months, and nothing really made a difference. Success, fame, girls. He was having none of it, really. Just nodded and went back to tinkering in the lab. 

Don't get me wrong. Sidekicking for Doctor Horrible was the best job I'd ever landed. I'd been afraid I'd have to sidekick for some jerk who mocked my powers, but the Doc let me take as much of the action as I wanted. On all levels, you know what I mean? And the rent was never late, which was a nice change.

But still, the Doc was my friend, and I hated to see him all mopey and sad. "Doc?" I asked one day. "What about a new team member? Lots of villains are getting henchmen these days - someone I could boss around. Or a super-evil lady. That's always a perk." 

"No, Moist." He waved a gloved hand dismissively. "I'm busy with this wall walk serum." 

We were going to walk into a bank, take the money, and walk out again by going through walls. Or would, when and if he ever got the mixture right. The lab rats kept getting stuck halfway. And believe me, explaining that to the landlord was a party. 

I didn't mind the experiments though, not really. I just wished I could get his old "rule the world" spark back. Ever since his big victory, he seemed to be going through the motions. He even stopped doing his own laundry. And I am not the best person to carry back a basket of clean clothes, let me tell you.

\--

He thought I wasn't his nemesis. That idiot, Captain Hammer, had distracted him, with his flash and his winning smile and his endorsements from the mayor. Bah. That didn't make him the toughest hero in town. Not even before he'd suffered that breakdown. He had connections. But I had dedication. 

It's easy to think you're courageous when you're invulnerable, after all. The good Doctor deserved better. Especially now that he'd made the League. So here I was, ready. I'd been ready, not that he'd noticed. But this time, I'd definitely get his attention. 

There he was. His new costume was eye-catching, I'd give him that, and he had a sidekick now. Moving up in the world, Doctor. Well, no matter. I zipped up my parka and checked my ice jets. A meathead like Hammer could never appreciate how diabolically brilliant the Doctor's ideas were, but I knew I'd have to be ready for anything.

The two of them slipped off into an alley, doubtless to ready some devices integral to their next plan. Little did they know I was one step ahead of them. Well, behind technically, but only in a physical sense. 

I stepped into the alleyway, and called out "Doctor Horrible! Prepare to meet your match!" He was crouched on the ground, pulling something out of his bag. His sidekick must have gone around another way. Even better. 

"Wh - Johnny Snow?" He straightened. "Seriously? Are you still around?"

I hit the hidden button on my first ice jet, and a spurt of ice encased his bag. The target practice had paid off, and though I was pleased, I resisted the urge to gloat. "...evidently, Doctor."

He looked a little angry. "You've been following me around for months. How many times do I have to tell you that you're not my nemesis?" He reached for a remote of some kind, and I stepped forward, aiming my other jet.

"I wouldn't do that, Doctor. You don't want Jack Frost to nip your nose."

"...is that your line?"

"Oh, don't tell me it's worse than `I have a PhD in horribleness.'"

"Hey!" 

His hand went to his trenchcoat pocket, and I fired my second jet. Unfortunately, it jammed, and the Doctor laughed sharply and maniacally as he took his remote and pointed it at me. I had a snowball gas bomb on my belt, but there was no way I could get it out in time, and I could only guess what horrible fate was in store. 

Just then, his sidekick ran through the wall, colliding with me. The collision must have unjammed my second jet, and as we were both suddenly and thoroughly damp, we instantly froze together. Frankly, it was not the impression I'd been hoping for. The Doctor tried to pry his sidekick off me, muttering curses the whole time, but eventually he promised to come back for him, and left us both there as the police began to arrive.

It took awhile to thaw us out, but they were all trying to shake my hand as they did. Apparently, I'd foiled a bank robbery. I was suddenly all the rage in the news, I had fangirls, and the word "hero" actually found its way into a report or two. Though the sidekick was rescued about a week later, the Doctor left me a threatening note, saying I'd not seen the last of him. I certainly hoped not. It was the first time I'd had him address me directly, besides one sideways comment in his blog. All in all... it was a hopeful start. No one ever got anywhere without effort, after all. And this city needed a new kind of hero. 

 


End file.
